Remembering my Perspective

Where is my gaze today...

Uh its really sunny out... and it has been one of those days... that actually goes as planned... no random breakdowns (so far)! It is totally gorgeous outside and I LOVE LIVING within walking distance of such a beautiful park! Barrett loves stroller rides and watching the kids on the play ground and swinging and cooing and throwing toys out of the stroller and just about tuckering out as we round the bend up to the house! I am so excited for the summer with our little B. Ray and I both LOVE taking walks to Starbucks or the park, love days at the pool or beach, early morning trips to Nags Head to stay with Nanny & PawPaw, playing on the deck, and just being outside! It will be so much fun to make more memories and to do it with our little man. Last year I remember taking a walk and talking about pulling him in a little wagon! Awww... and now he is here! The Spring air has definitely brought with it much anticipation!

While my boy was napping I started reading THIS blog that a friend had posted on facebook. It was just exactly what I needed to be reminded of. I can tend to look at all the things that are "wrong" when really nothing is wrong... I am just not fixing my gaze upward... I see the lack of money, the hurting friends, the cancer, the marriage struggles, the fears, the stress, the hurt, the pain, etc... and my mind is honestly filled with doubt. How can I trust you Lord? Everything just seems to be in chaos?!? But after reading this article I was reminded to REMEMBER... to remember HIM and all that He has done for us... all that He has PROMISED... all that He IS. He is I AM!! He is trustworthy, faithful, and compassionate. He has not forgotten me or my situation. He is filled with LOVE as he looks upon His children. How could I doubt my Savior, my Friend, my Love? He is here and He is working in all that concerns me today, tomorrow, and forever!

As I was pondering this I happened upon my friend Libby's blog... She has been such an inspiration as she, a young mom and wife, has battled cancer. She has been honest, humble, and always trusting in her faithful God. I want to have that same faith and trust. To know that no matter what comes... He is in control and will not let me go! Oh, God I pray for faith like my friend Libby!

Perspective is everything... Faith, Hope, and Love...

I want to remember... God is who says He is and God can do what He says He can do!

Filled with Fresh Hope today... This is my perspective today!!

2 loves

i LOVE these 2!!

I cannot imagine life without my cutie-boys!

and i LOVE these 2!

Nanny & PawPaw bring so much joy to our lives!

And these 2!

Barrett & his buddy Sutton!

and of coarse, these 2!

Sweet Uncle Caleb & Bear Bear!

sitting on the couch finally... had a very quiet night just relaxing, watching American Idol... after a very busy day of 7 loads of laundry, folding it and putting it away, cleaning out ray's drawers, cleaning every room, going through mail, catching up on the "to-do" list that i have been putting off, and preparing for my family to come this weekend....whew! ...but as i was sitting here, i started remembering so many things that i am thankful for. i was "remembering His benefits"... and they are MANY!

i also was finally able to go to meet with the girls in my caregroup for ladies night! i cannot even express how encouraged i was... seeing their genuine hearts to grow, their love for the Lord and each other, their wisdom and insight into certain situations, and their passion to be the women that God has called them to be was just what i needed. oh to just sit and be real, vulnerable, honest... and to see their love for me was so overwhelming! though i am not able to be as involved and committed as i would like, i know that i was meant to be at that meeting and to fellowship with those girls. so overwhelmed with the truth because of these precious girls :)

tomorrow my cleaning friend comes to help me get some deep cleaning done in prep for my family coming. i love the days when she is here... she is such a speedy, thorough cleaner! i always love my house more after she is done!! :) anyway, i am just thankful for a little help before my family gets here!

i am bubbing over with excitement to see my fam... especially my sis! she is one of my best friends and it is so hard to be so far apart. so i treasure the times that we are together. i love having my family here with me... i feel like they are actually part of my life here when they come visit and that makes me happy. i miss them so much and appreciate all that they do for us. speaking of that, as i was going through the mail tonight, my mom had mailed B a little Valentine card... and it was super cute!!

ray & i had a sweet valentine's... lauryn hill concert :) it was fun just being together and making a memory!

oh, and one last thing... i worked all day on Valentine's Day... after work i went to pck up B from Sharay's and she had done a little photoshoot with him dressed in a red shirt and jeans. his pictures were all over her kitchen, framed and absolutely adorable! it was one of the most special valentine's ever!!

GOODNIGHT

Mama Said They'll be dAyS like tHiS!!

i just gotta remember days like today... the day after i work my night shifts... this too shall pass :)

anticipation to get home to my boys. a little surge of energy that

lasts about 5 minutes. talking to my mom on the drive home. seeing little b's

big smile when i get home. also seeing the relief in ray's eyes... ah, mom's

home. fighting the need to sleep and the want to hang out

with my guys. pj's. maybe an hour of sleep. ray sneaking in to lay b next

to me for his nap. hearing him coo and babble and play with his silky blanket.

then the dreaded cry that wakes us up in about an hour and half. i am

thankful for that hour and a half. feeding him his lunch. watching him play

with his toys. fuss at times. want attention. making coffee.

calling friends to come over and help me stay awake (today that sweet

friend was Amy... she even brought me tropical smoothie and played

with b for a while!). watching baby einstein about 10 times. i know i know i only

do that when i am about to fall asleep. most days he only gets to watch it once.

just counting down the hours until my dear raybo gets home. and

sometime i head to my mother in laws house for b to have some

play time with people that are actually coherent and to get

some yummy dinner. toys scattered everywhere. dishes in the

sink. pacifiers scattered all over. bedtime bath. and the the big moment that i

anticipate all day... bedtime! haha :) i seriously only feel like this on

days after i work a night shift (which is actually translated : i have been

up for over 48 hours without sleep... sweet!!) so its 7:20 and munchy is asleep.

i feed him. warm up his blanket in the dryer. cuddle him. kiss him

about a 100 times. pray for him (and usually tear up). put on his

music (the music that he has listened to since he was born). and watch

him just for a second... rubbing his eyes and rolling around and finally

giving into his tiredness. and then i get my blanket. cuddle up

on the couch. feel like i have 10 lbs on each eye. and wait for

my love to come home with dinner. whew. long hard day.

thankful for my family. thankful for my job (most of the time). thankful for bedtime. thankful for grace. strength. peace. thankful for fresh eyes for my duties as a wife, mom, and nurse. and if i'm completely honest... i'm thankful for tv, movies, friends that visit. coffee. food (like tropical smoothie). my cell phone. toys that make lots of noise to keep b's attention. american idol and other various shows where i can just turn off my mind for a bit... i know that some of these dont sound super spiritual, but hey... i'm thankful :)

well, i have made it through another "day after the night shift"... all by grace and God's strength in my weakness... now i'm off to cozy up on the couch and relax... and maybe even fall asleep at 7:30 :)

(I just want to remember what this season was like... in all its glory... :)

just another day :)

Just Another day...

Sometimes the mundane morning routine wears on me... getting up early to feed B, longing for more sleep, making my coffee, thinking of what to pack Ray for lunch, playing with B, feeding him again, making breakfast, yada, yada, yada....

This morning I got up early and forced myself to get to the gym.... ugh... nothing in me wanted to go, but I remembered that this would most likely be my only time to myself today... so off I went. Believe it or not, I actually had a good time. Nothing special... just a treadmill, ipod, and my little worn out legs trying to run :) I am always thankful when I do get up and get to the gym. It gives me time to think , pray, and just be alone without the messy house, little baby, and hubby :) As much as I love them, need them, and enjoy every moment with them... I need to be refilled. By the end of the day, my cup is usually empty and I am drained of all energy! So, I am thankful for a nice work out and a little time to get focused before the craziness of the day starts!

We have all been battling the remains of the nasty cold... B started waking up at night because he couldn't breathe... his little nose was all stuffed up. He slept fairly well last night and I am very grateful for that. We are eating vitamins like candy, drinking lots of hot liquids, and just trying to rest as much as possible (ok, the last part hasn't really happened, but oh well!).

We got a new grille for Christmas from Ray's parents to go with our new deck! Ray and his Pawpaw finally got it all put together! We made hamburgers the other night (pretty yummy, but gotta learn to cook them on low... oops!) and last night we made rock fish and had his grandparents, uncle, and cousin over! I'm not a big fish fan, but it was pretty good all grilled up!!

Barrett had a BIG accomplishment yesterday... he actually drank out of his new sippy cup!! He LOVES straws... especially when Ray and I are drinking out of it... so I found a little sippy cup with a straw and he LOVES drinking his apple juice out of it!! He is still trying SO hard to crawl... he gets up and rock and rolls and does whatever it takes to get to his toys, but he just doesn't get that it would be so much simpler if he just used all fours!

Oh well... I love my little munchkin and i love watching him grow into his own little person... he makes Ray and I pretty happy :) Oh, and I did sign him up for his first swim class at the YMCA!! Its basically an intro to water class and the parents get to do it too!! Ray's grandparents and uncle have a little trailer in Nags Head so we are planning to spend some time there this summer... plus he LOVES his bath time in the sink... so we decided that it might be fun for him! I splurged and got him a new rash guard shirt and little pirate swim trunks yesterday... I cannot wait to see him in them!!

Barrett and I worked on a Valentine's Day package to send to my sis at college and my mom :) He drew on the Valentine's and helped me pick out little goodies to send to them... we stickered up the outside of the envelope and headed to the post office! "Will you be my Valentine Grammy & Aunt Betsy?? Love Barrett" :)

Well... off to get somethings accomplished for the day... gotta work all night tonight!! Sleep is over-rated!! :) Oh, and tonight is Barrett and Uncle Dan's first little babysitting time together!! B loves Dan, so we'll see how it goes!!

Just another day... what could be better... :)

In His Hands

Well... I think I got a little glimpse of what it is like for the parents of my patients at the hospital. My sweet boy got sick for the first time... nothing huge, just a fever, runny nose, cough, and a little throwing up. :( It broke my heart! When his fever finally reached 103 I decided to call the doctor. We went... they think its something viral. I just needed to hear the doctor say he was ok. I know I'm a nurse and all, but when its your own child you forget everything you have ever learned! My sweet boy slept on me most of the day, whimpering and burning up! Thankfully, this morning he is all smiles and playing with his toys! I have been alternating Tylenol and Motrin for him. I have always dreaded that first fever... that first sickness.... whew... you just want to take it away and put it on yourself. I am thankful for the Lord's peace and healing over the past few days. I am thankful for Ray and the way He always takes me and little B to the Lord, praying for us and speaking truth to me. I am thankful for work, being understanding and knowing that I am a mom before I am a nurse. I am thankful for prayers from our family. I am thankful for our boy... for his sweet smile yesterday at the doctor even when he felt bad, for being such a good boy at the doctors, for snuggling with me, for making my life so full!! I am thankful that the dreaded "first sickness" is just about gone and I have seen the sweet hand of the Lord watching over us... surrounding my boy. I know that there will be more "dreaded firsts" but for now I am resting in the provision of the Lord. He is near to us and my heart is grateful today.

"Your right hand upholds me"