full heart. grateful heart.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

This morning did bring forth fresh reminders of His unfailing love for me & my family... the past 2 weeks have had me up early to arrive at work on time... I have enjoyed working dayshift lately and picking up a few extra shifts as my schedule allows... my internal clock definitely works more efficiently when I have gotten my sleep! Though work has been emotional this past week, with a special family going through a difficult time... I am thankful for the moments that bring me home thanking God for Ray & Barrett & our families. I always hold Bear a little longer before bed... Stay up with Ray a little later... and Listen to friends and family with more intent. I am thankful for the simple reminder that life is short.

My schedule/planner has remained open on the table the past few days... it is filling up fast! I am pumped about all the things it is getting filled with... mainly family and friends... and that always does my heart good. I am realizing more and more that our time here in Chesapeake is growing shorter... my times with friends have seemed sweeter, Bear's playdate friends have been documented in his baby book... just in case he forgets, date nights here at the beach have definitely been more frequent and fun, time with family is more spontaneous, and sometimes a sadness fills my heart at the realization of missed birthdays, births, marriages, etc. But I am peaceful. Cheesy I know... But I am thankful for the simple reminder that "friends are friends forever if the Lords the Lord of them."

my heart... and much of my spare time lately has been spent with "the nations" weighing heavy on me. Not a day goes by that the sweet children in Africa don't run across my mind... or the desire to one day do mission work in India continues to increase... or the searching through books and mission organizations to learn where our family can make a difference in just a small way. After finishing the book, Radical, I knew that the part our family can play at this times is to PRAY. To pray for the Nations. I order the book,Operation World, the definitive prayer guide to every nation,and I LOVE IT! Barrett and I have been getting up in the morning and watching the short video on the country we will pray for... it is amazing! Most of the time, I am left with tears streaming down my face as Barrett and I pray for children in other countries. I am thankful that God is stirring hearts to pray for the people He loves...

Yesterday morning my heart was moved for the people in Botswana... I pray this video impacts your heart to pray for Botswana and the nations around the world!

"Here lies the supreme missionary motivation. It is neither obedience to the Great Commission, nor compassion for the lost, nor excitement over the gospel, but zeal (even "jealousy") for the honour of Christ's name... no incentive is stronger than the longing that Christ should be given the honour that is due to His name." John Stott

Summer is a comin...

(birthdays, anniversary, sis's graduation & wedding, beachhouse)

woot!!

You'll Come

my new favorite song :)

DON'T FORGET TO PAUSE THE MUSIC AT THE BOTTOM!

dAlLaS ROCKED!

i have been wanting to write lately... but every time i try to get my thoughts out, they just don't come or something comes up... this morning my little boy busted his chin during a morning game of chase... a few days ago it was allergies, a few days before that it was the nasty stomach bug, a few days before that it was a busted head during one of his many pretend football games, and a few days before that was the start of a cold that has lasted about 2 weeks~ to say the least, i am OVER IT!

but i guess sometimes you just have to jump right in...

first things first...

WE LOVED OUR TRIP TO DALLAS!

living in texas might take some getting used to, but the school... was... awesome! i think ray & i loved it more than we thought we would. it just felt right... we toured the campus and even got a special tour of the married housing by the dean of families. we will definitely have to downsize... but we both just looked at each other nodded our head in agreement, as if to say, it will be worth it.

thanks to my sweet mama in law i got to go to everything with ray while she hung out with barrett! we loved the classes, teachers, chapels, & worship night. we were both refreshed... new faces, new passions, & a fresh filling of Jesus. i think it was just what we needed as confirmation for where the Lord is leading us at this time.

and yes, we made it to GiGi's cupcakes! YUM!! it was such a sweet sweet blessing to have Sharay there with us! she brings so much laughter, love, encouragement, & fun! and my favorite part is that next me and ray, our boy loves his GiGi... ALOT! it helped me to feel so much more peaceful knowing that barrett was being taken care of so we could really focus on the school!

side note: one of my favorite parts of the trip was seeing how much ray & i were on the same page... we want the same things in life, even though at times that looks different. we both are sensing the same direction from the Lord. we laughed alot. shared memories. talked about our future hopes. what life will look like for our family. what God is showing us. it just felt nice to be on the same page. i love that. it was an added gift from the Lord.

we also got to visit some fun places in Dallas... Dallas Cowboys Stadium being one of our faves!

and i couldn't leave Texas without my first pair of cowgirl boots! i LOVE them!

the trip home felt long... and our baby boy was ready to be in his crib, GiGi was ready to see her family, and it was time to get back on our routine for now. this is still home for a little while...

we are grateful to the Lord for His favor to us on our trip... we feel Him so near to us, leading, guiding, directing... it really is ALL ABOUT HIM. (small excerpt from the book Radical... lovin it!)

more to come as we make plans for our move... but for now, its bath time!

iPhone

Yeah I'm cool, I got one...

after having an old school phone, this phone pretty much rocks...

one of my most favorite parts is the camera...

i love laying in bed at night looking back over my day...

after starting the the week extremely sleep deprived, with cold and flu symptoms on the rise... we jumped in the car to head to the Y this morning and well we never made it out of the driveway... someone's breakfast ended up all over the place. so, barrett and i have been eating toast and laying low... and its been nice.

so here's what we have been up too... and thanks to my sweet iphone camera, it helps me remember the details...

we've been making trips to visit nanny and pawpaw several times a week... its a nice little drive that gets us out of the house, and barrett enjoys getting all the attention, while i enjoy chatting with nanny... they are pretty special to us...

(pawpaw sneaking barrett cookies)

loving my little corner nook to read during B's naptime and enjoy my coffee... thankful for the little blessing each day... and my house just doesn't feel complete without some colorful flowers... this week, i'm craving anything PINK :)

the picture says it all, MY CHILD IS LEARNING TO FEED HIMSELF.... yiyiyi!!! he pretty much rocks at eating cereal, but anything else... not so much. its a milestone i just have to embrace.

(we take about 2 baths a day because of this whole learning to feed himself thing!)

barrett and one of his favorite buddies, ty... i have never laughed so hard watching these 2 play for hours.... mainly laughing at each other!! there was pushing, truck throwing, pulling each other in the wagon, and lots of balls everywhere... i guess this is how boys play... sweet!

ok, so i'm not on pinterest.... just cause i pretty much refuse. i know it would be a time waster for me... anyway, occasionally i will see people post there pinterest crafts on facebook... and well, this one was easy and i ABSOLUTELY love it... because it fits right in with my pink craving!! and its pretty tacky and cute for valentine's day!!! love it!

a little family trip to the zoo made for a fun outing... barrett loved watching the giraffes! we're still waiting for him to stop calling everything a dog!

and with all the warm days lately, park trips have been a MUST... i love watching him explore and try new things.

and a blog post of what we have been doing lately would not be complete without a picture of barrett's best little buddy... william :) thankfully, will's mom is pretty much one of the coolest moms ever and lets barrett hold will and kiss him and love on him... and that means alot to me too :) every night barrett puts his finger up to his lips and tell ray and i, "shhhh, baby sleeping." i guess he thinks william lives in the guest bedroom.... he's always very concerned that we are taking care of the baby... its really cute...

i am such a sucker for pink, red, valentines, & decorations.... and well, my husband says we need to get stock in Target.... yikes! i always get carried away in that store!!!

"Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

never knew the love my heart was capable of... but it just somehow keeps growing and growing..

happy rest of the week!

Dreams, Direction, Desires, & Dallas!!

thoughts of future hopes and dreams have been filling my mind lately...

i usually come up with my new years resolutions and i am ready to jump in head first on january 1... this year, it has taken me a little longer...

honestly, i know that this year is going to be packed with CHANGE. a word that used to send me running to hide... but a big deep breath of change is sometimes just what we need... to push us into our calling or make us more of the person that we were meant to become.

when ray and i got married

we knew that we just didn't want

to settle down and live with our God

in a box.

but barrett came, jobs changed,

finances were tight, and the dreams that

used to fill our minds slowly drifted

away...

of coarse, loving Jesus, growing in grace, caring for my husband, raising our son, and being a compassionate nurse are at the top of my list for what i am living for... but something in my heart, His whisper, tells me there is more... more to live for... not more to things to add to my plate or more legalistic rituals to do... but,

people are hurting

children are dying

families are homeless

women are sold

sickness, cancer, & death

are all to close to home

i have been reading the book, Radical, and God has been opening my eyes to the nations... and to His call on each of our lives.

after returning from Africa (medical mission trip in 2009), i remember telling ray, you have to see this... it will change your life... and i guess it really did change mine, because i still can't get the images that i saw out of my mind... and i believe that is God's precious grace in my life. as much as i would like to forget most of what i saw... i can't. those are His children...

"Now, we know that each of us has different gifts, different skills, different passions, and different callings from God. God has gifted you and me in different ways. This was undoubtedly the case with the disciples. Peter and Paul had different callings. James and John had different callings. However, each follower of Christ in the New Testament, regardless of his or her calling, was intended to take up the mantle of proclaiming the gospel to the ends of the earth. That's the reason why he gave each of them his Spirit and why he gave them all the same plan: make disciples of all nations." (Radical, 73)

again, we're not all missionaries, we're not all pastors, we're not all businessmen... but we are all called to PROCLAIM HIS NAME TO THE WORLD...

so for us, for our family,

we have to decided where that

calling lies. where to put our

passions. where God is directing us.

what that will look like, and how it all will play out is unknown to us... but our hearts are full of faith... and we are ready. like one of my favorite worship songs by Chris Tomlin says, "Where you go I'll go, where you stay I'll stay, when you move I'll move. I will follow you."

what i love is that God is with us, He is for us, and He has much to accomplish through us... not because of us, but because of His great love for us! how can we just sit and watch our lives pass by... having the newest car, prettiest outfit, best behaved kids, perfect marriage, nice facebook quotes and pictures, and having the most pins on our pinterest boards with hopeful decorations for our home. i'm guilty of it all!! i spend so much of my life with this inner tug... but Lord, i want all the newest things! i want the most beautiful house! i want people to think our marriage is perfect! etc... but the truth is, do i really want all that?? can i really relate to my friends that are struggling in their marriage if God hadn't taken us through difficult times? how easily would my heart be filled up with idols if i really had everything i wanted? what are His dreams for our family?

we all have to ask ourselves these questions.

we all will struggle, because we are human

and our hearts are idol factories.

and we are drawn to living the American Dream...

where does our satisfaction come?

how are we fulfilling His purpose right where we are?

are we proclaiming the gospel... to the nations?

all that to say, we are heading to Dallas, Texas to visit Christ for the Nations Institute next week. over the past 9 months, the Lord has been opening our hearts to His call and opening doors for us to walk through in this direction. this is kind of the final door... to see Dallas, to see the school, to meet people, look at job opportunities, and get a sense from the Holy Spirit if this is where the Lord is moving us. please keep us in your prayers as you think of it... we are wanting more of Jesus... and needing Him so desperately to lead us...

David Platt says in his book, Radical, "After spending a week around precious children who eat a small cup of porridge a day, the question I have come back to Birmingham asking God is why he has blessed me when others have so little. And this is what He has shown me: 'I have blessed you for my glory. Not so you will have a comfortable life with a big house and a nice car. Not so you can spend lots of money on vacations, education, or clothing. Those aren't bad things, but I've blessed you so that the nations will know me and see my glory.'"

so whether we end up in Dallas or Africa....

Let the Adventure begin :)

2011 into 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

well, i am ringing in the new year on the couch with strep throat... but the Lord must have known that i needed a little extra rest before heading into 2012! i am pretty confident that this year holds some some exciting changes for our family... but for now, i just want to sit here, looking at my christmas tree, and remember... remember all the sweet sweet times i was blessed with... i've been a little teary all evening just thinking about how much Raybo and B mean to me... and how seriously blessed i am to have them in my life...

there is no one else in the world that fills my life with so much laughter... when i want to cry, he brings my smile out; when i want to get angry (usually at him), he makes the giggles start; and when i want to bust out laughing, my mans got the jokes!! my heart can barely fit all the love i have for you, honey... xoxo

and then there's this little football player that loves his mama, and he completes my world...

so glad that the Lord allowed these 2 precious boys to color my world with so much fun!

mommy's boy... man i'm one super blessed mama

thankful for all the "smiley faces" this little one has given his dad & mom

Psalm 23:5-6

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

_________________________________________________________

a little update on my sweet friend Kim... last week, because of so many GENEROUS people, i was able to take her and her husband $800 and many presents for her 2 children! It was a precious moment as we opened the card with the money... her husband, had tears running down his cheeks and Kim kept mouthing, "You all did not have to do this for us." Nhu, Kim's husband, wanted everyone's addresses to send thank you notes. When Kim saw all the presents for her kids, she was overjoyed! They were both speechless and grateful! Thank you all that gave out the goodness of your heart. Above all, I know it was a fragrant offering to Jesus. Each of you hold a special place in my heart, and now in Nhu & Kim's heart... so thank you, thank you!!

Please continue to pray for Kim to have strength and motivation for the days to come. Her recovery will require much grace and strength... She also asked for prayer for her back pain, as she sits in bed most of the day, and also for her itching from certain medications. Above all, pray for salvation!! Jesus is in the midst of this suffering... I see His hands...

this is the only picture i have of Kim, from a while ago..

but its precious, and its a beautiful picture of such a sweet woman...