sWeeTLy OveRwHeLmed

my little boy is turning 1 in just a few days...

lots of birthday planning...

making cakes...

and decorations...

planning...

preparing for my family and friends to come into town...

looking forward to the new memories we will make this weekend...

and just remembering... remembering how my life has changed...

for the best...

GRATITUDE:
i have been very overwhelmed lately... in a good way...
my heart is so full of gratitude it just might bust! as i was inviting family and friends to barrett's party i remembered all the ways that people have blessed us, supported us, encouraged us, and just plain walked through life with us in our first year as parents. seeing how much our family and friends love our son is one of the most precious gifts i could ever recieve. how can i say thank you to so many people that have already touched his little life... and ours! there are no words, but i am thankful... so very thankful!

FAITHFULNESS:
thinking of where i was this time last year... the fear, the aprehension, the frusteration that God would mess up my plan with a baby...
how humbling it is to look back and see my Savior's faithfulness to me when i was so far from faithful to Him. He never let me go... He was my constant... He opened my eyes to the wonder and priveldge of being a mom... He reminded me that He was always there when i needed Him... He was and is faithful and that overwhelms my heart.

DADDY LOVE:
i have lots of little snapshots in my mind... and i realized that many of them are memories of barrett and ray. there are no words to express the love that i see in ray's eyes for his son...
from the moment barrett was born, that was his boy... and he was going to do everything in his power to love that little boy with all that he had. he is a proud father... in a very sweet way. he is so attentive to barrett's needs, so playful with him, loves making him laugh hysterically, prays over him every night (and i literally mean every night), and i'm sure he would give his life for him. it is one of the most precious things... watching my love become an amazing dad... that overwhelms my heart.

BOY:
i always thought i would never know what to do with a boy... well, today i was sitting on the floor crashing trucks into each other saying "vrooom!" and then it hit me... this is what you do with boys! :) my little guy is such a boy... he loves loves loves balls, trucks, anything that makes noise, and he loves to just sneak off and crawl up the stairs at rapid speeds even as i am saying no no no! barrett is always finding something to get into... his adventurous little spirit and joyful heart bring so much happiness to our lives! he is our boy... and there is no other like him!

PRAYER:
wow... how many conversations have i held with God this year!?!? a million at least! ...from protection in his crib at night to his salvation one day... my God has heard it all! He has answered us everytime... with protection, care, safety, favor, rest, peace, mercy, provision, and lots and lots of grace. how many tears has he wiped from eyes? how many sleepless nights has he brought me through? how many months did he always provide for us? How many fearful nights did he bring His peace? there was always grace... grace upon grace upon grace! and that just totally overwhelms me...

so... for tonight i am just plain overwhelmed with God's goodness towards us... even when we don't deserve it, He lavishes His children with good gifts... and that overwhelms me! thank you Lord for your good and perfect gifts...