Monday, October 22, 2012

in the quiet

Been fighting a fog this past week... worked a slew of night shifts close together and it has taken me my whole 4 days off to regain my motivation and a semi-normal schedule.  

Had a beautiful weekend with my family.  We just enjoyed being together.  I drank lots of coffee.  Ray made me laugh.  And Barrett kept us busy.  We went on our first date since we moved here.  It was a special time... it was different than any other date we have had.  I'm not exactly sure why... but our hearts connected on a different level than ever before.  God is giving us more and more of the same heart.  I could write MUCH about our marriage... where it has been, the very hard and trying times, but right now, God is re-writing parts of our story and it is covered with forgiveness... He is making it more about Him and less about us.  This is the Scripture that He has given me for this time.  There is always HOPE...

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."
Ezekial 36:26 NLT

Right now... I am enjoying a quiet booth to myself at Panera.  I am drinking a big glass of sweet tea since I hit my coffee intake quota for the week and its only Monday! It is Quiet... something I don't practice much...  I am constantly making lists, setting goals, planning...    

It hard for me to shut my mind off and just be still.  But my Father is teaching me... To be still, means I have to trust that in my stillness God is going to speak.  There is no point in being still and waiting on God if I don't believe that something awesome is going to happen in the stillness.  

I have plenty to do.  But I am learning that the quiet is a much better place than the things I think I need to do.  When I am quiet... my heart connects with His heart, my mind is transformed, my desires are changed, my thoughts are towards Him and His kingdom, and my passion become His passion.  When I sit at His feet, sometimes never uttering a word, my life changes and it is SO much better than anything I would have chosen to do.  If only I could remember this.

Quiet, is marked by little or no motion or activity.  In our world, it is so hard for us to do this!  Quiet makes us face things in our life and heart that we never even knew were there.  We would rather run from these things than to face them head on.  Leave the dishes in the sink, don't worry about the clutter... Run to find a quiet place and I promise you won't be disappointed!   

This morning I went to chapel with Ray.  We both LOVE starting our day out together worshipping, getting refocused.  It is a time we have grown to cherish.  But this morning, the worship leader said, "Lets worship Jesus before we start worship."  Is sounds funny, but many time we wait for the music to start and then eventually we start singing and sometimes our spirit gets engaged.  But this morning, without any music, the room erupted in worship to Jesus.  There was nothing stirring our hearts other than the Holy Spirit.  It was quiet, it was weird to actually start worshipping without music and loud instruments.  But I am learning to press in, to press into all that God has.  I have had to push through the fog the past few days... and it has been hard!  But as I press in, seeking for more and more of His presence, I have found that HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP and give more and more of Himself!  And He doesn't just show up... HE shows up in mighty power... causing my heart to love him more and transforming EVERY part of my life! He wants to do the same for all of us.  His love is great... greater than we could ever imagine.  

This my favorite song right now... I cry every time we sing it...   Thinking on the words.. it is all worth it.  He is worth it.  Take it all, just give me Jesus...  

Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.

And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.

Beautiful Man,
Beautiful God,
You're more than worth my time.
You're more than worth these longings of my heart
Left unfulfilled,
Just for a time.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kristene_mueller/all_my_devotion.html ]
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.
And I know You don't come as easy as some,
But I will watch and pray,
I will watch and pray.

Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.

Take it all,
Take it all,
Just give me Jesus,
Just give me Jesus.

I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
I don't want any other lovers,
For all my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man,
All my devotion belongs to this Man.


Kristene Mueller

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