Friday, June 17, 2011

my dad & my boy's dad

got off the phone with my dad yesterday morning... so thankful for him. thankful for every moment we have shared... i'm sure he could fill ya in on the ups and downs of raising daughters and all that entails, but i'm sure he would also tell you that there were alot more ups than downs. my sis and i have always been "daddy's girls." i'm so glad i was and still am his girl.

one of my first memories as a little girl was standing at the front door waiting for my dad to come home from work. my dad had many difficulties with jobs for several years when i was young and i know that just seeing my face at the door every evening made every second of it worth it... i'm pretty sure he would tell you that too :) my dad and i would get very silly sometimes... laughing our heads off downstairs... my dad taking a joke and running it into the ground, but i was his little giggle box... i seriously thought he was the funniest person in the world! i still do. :) my dad would announce his plans for his day off, and they were always my plans too. i wanted to go wherever he went... guitar store, tennis shops, church music practice, walking the park, and taking drives to harrisonburg to just be together. when my heart was crushed... by boys, school, friendships, disappointments, and the many emotions that girls have... he was always there for me. i would just sit in his lap and cry... sometimes i never even had to say anything. he was always gentle, kind, caring, and i knew his love for me was strong... nothing in the world could take it away. he walked life right by my side. we hiked up a mountain one saturday, just me and my dad, we talked about the Lord, things i was struggling with... he was there, he was present, he knew what was going on in my life. that is a dad. that is a father. that is a strong man. that is my dad.

sweet sweet memories, precious times... i will never forget growing up in a home where my dad was there... to love us, cheer us on, and hold my hand every step of the way. even today, a married woman now, i call my dad... we laugh, i cry sometimes, he listens, prays, gives wisdom and encouragement, and he always tells me before he hangs up... "you can always call me, ash, if you need anything. i love you." and i will always call him. i will always look at him as the first man in my life. the man that showed me what love was... and loved me as my Father loves me. i know His love for me, because i experienced dad's love for me. that is an inheritance that can never be replaced.

thank you dad for being the man that you are. father's day is just one day out of the year to honor father's, but not a day goes by that i don't think of you and thank God for the amazing gift that you have been to me. i love you, dad.

happy father's day, dad


i have another "father" that i get to see everyday. the father of our son. watching my ray be a dad is one of the coolest things i have ever seen. :) sometimes i smile so big when i see those 2 boys together it makes my face hurt! i love watching ray's reaction to barrett... if barrett falls, ray is right there to pick him up and dust him off, if barrett is in a silly mood, ray is right there to make him laugh so hard he can hardly breathe, if barrett is tired, ray scoops him up in his strong arms and carries him up to bed, praying for him faithfully each night before bed, if barrett learns something new, ray is right there to clap his hands and say "good job dada boy!"

from the moment barrett was born, ray held him close and i knew that they would be forever friends... i know that as the years pass they will only grow closer. barrett can't thank his dad right now for all the times he has watched him while mommy works night shifts, changed his diapers, dresses him cool, takes him to see the dogs at the pet shop, plays fun games with him, teaches him new things, reads to him, prays for him, feeds him, gives him baths at night when mommy is tired, and loves on him! but if barrett could thank him, i know he would... because he has a pretty cool dad. a dad that has constantly loved and cared for him for his first year of life. there will ups and downs, but barrett is ray's boy and i see that faithful love everyday.

i don't want to forget the analogy our pastor used last week at church when he spoke on Psalm 121: he saw ray holding barrett on his lap, ray was holding his feet and barrett was swaying all around... he just learning to balance. but ray was holding his feet so tight, barrett wasn't going anywhere! that is such a precious picture of Jesus holding us. when we are swaying all around, our Father is there to hold us tight, secure, unmoveable... what a picture of our Father's care for us... and what a blessing to know that i have a dad like that and so does Barrett.

thank you, love, for being an amazing "dada" to our little guy. he is blessed more than he knows to have you in his life. and one day he will thank you. :)

Happy father's day, babe

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