I'm sitting here in Staunton at MUGSHOTS, a cute little coffee shop, with my computer and my white chocolate mocha, and my little boy doing flips in my tummy.
Wow... it seems as if life is just flying by...
So many memories flood my mind as I sit here and reminisce. To think of the days that I would sit here and do homework, dreaming of what I would do with my life... now to be sitting here married and pregnant. Yikes! Where did time go??
I worked three days in a row to be able to come visit my parents. Have you ever just feel like you need to get away? Well, I kinda felt like that... not that i'm running from anything... just need a break from the mundane. It was such a sweet feeling to drive over Afton Mountain yesterday and see the sun setting over the beautiful mountains. It made me smile... I love the quietness of this town. The peace that I always feel... life feels slower here.
I pulled up to the little house that I grew up in... dirty snow still covers the ground, but it is beautiful. I always love walking into the little childhood cottage :) Mom welcomed me and rubbed my belly to tell Barrett hello. She said my tummy was so cute! The house was straightened and new pictures from my wedding decorated the living room walls. That made me smile too! Mom and I chatted... picked up where we always do... just sharing life. Had a yummy dinner with mom and then settled into our pj's to watch the Olympics. It was as if, though I have a child in my belly, I was a child again. We laughed, talked, remembered, and laughed some more! It is fun to get all the attention... my sis is away at college in and Ray had to stay home to work. So Barrett and I get all the attention :)
Then mom pulled out a little journal that had the many details of her pregnancy and my birth. It was the sweetest thing I have ever read! I can't believe that she had all of written down! Then she gave me my baby book.... she had captured the first 7 years in detail of my life! It was so amazing to read. I can't wait to compare notes when our son is born! We ended up staying up rather late as she remembered all the little things I used to say and do when I was little. It made me anticipate the birth of our son in a new way! Mom also felt him moving last night for the first time! :)
On that note, to bear my heart, I have been struggling for the past few weeks with allowing my self to let my guard down and love him fully. It is hard to explain... The more I feel him move, the more I think about him, as each day passes, I fall more and more in love with the child that I have never even met. How could I love something this much? I wasn't really ready to love anything more than my family and Ray... and now this new love is slowly growing and growing with each day. Because of the many sick children I see each day, the horrible stories that you hear regarding babies, my friends that have lost children, etc... this has caused fear to creep into my heart and take over the love that I have for this precious gift. I haven't wanted to buy much for our son because I have been scared of the "what ifs." I have asked the Lord to change my heart and allow the walls to come down. I am asking God to help me to trust him... He has blessed me TODAY with our little guy and I want to celebrate today! I want to give him all the love I can TODAY. I cannot live in the "what ifs" of this life... I must LIVE in today and LOVE with all I have today. So, I am going to embrace all that it means to LOVE my boy TODAY. I will choose to thank the Lord in the times when fears tries to come in... He has never failed me and His peace will cover all my fears. He is taking care of my baby... and I need not walk in fear but in complete peace TODAY!
..... Barrett turns 6 months tomorrow!! Tomorrow marks 24 weeks of pregnancy! Wow! I know this pic has alot going on..haha, but it shows really well how big he is in me! I cannot believe he lives in me! :) I have honestly been laughing so much lately... every time he moves it makes me crack up laughing. Poor Ray, the other night the laughter started at 1:30 am. I could not stop laughing though... I was wheezing and tears were coming down my face it tickled so much! :)
And tomorrow also mark our 8 month anniversary! Another WOW! I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. It has been the HAPPIEST 8 months of my life! I am blessed with a cutie.. thats for sure! :) Its so much better than I imagined it to be! "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you..."
I have been quite focused on getting our house together lately... working on little projects on my day off. I am not the most artsy person in the world, especially when it come to decorating a house. My latest project is to get some pictures up on the wall. I was talking to a dear friend about how I could better serve my husband in this busy season of our lives and the the changes that come with pregnancy. She said that one of the best ways she found to bless her husband was to have yummy dinner ready when he gets home from work... the house straightened... ready to focus on him and hear about his day. So, I decided that with a few days off last week I would make dinner and get our house looking a little more like a home. Ray came home from work the past few nights and has cozied right up on the couch... it seems he wants to be there. He loves the pictures on the wall and the time that I spent making dinner for him. So, ultimately it has blessed us both to have a few nights a week at home together. We only have about 4 months left.. just the two of us! Ahhhh! :) But we truly are enjoying this special season together!
Here are a few pics from the house...
Going through LOTS of pictures...
found these adorable picture keeper boxes at Michaels for cheap!
This is my attempt at creativity...
This is a shadow box that I made for Ray with the ultrasound pictures
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord