Thursday, January 7, 2010

Conflicting Priorities

So... I'm just going to be completely honest and just share the things that have been on my heart the past few weeks...

I love the fresh start that a new year brings...that clean slate, pure white sheet of paper, new goals, new dreams, and lots of passionate resolutions. Normally, my new year resolution, as with many, starts with a weight/health goal. Well, I realized that I really can't have a resolution like that this year. I have to eat whatever I can get down, whenever I can get it down :) I surely can't loose weight, I must gain it! So, my 2010 resolutions started off a little rocky to say the least...

Conflicting emotions...
Most days, love my cute patients, learning new things, my co-workers...
Most days, love my it, fixing things in it, etc...
Most days, don't mind doing dishes, laundry, or making dinner...
Most days, love meeting Ray at the door when he gets home from work, giving him lots of kisses and hearing all about his day....
Most days, laugh alot, love to accomplish lots on my days off, book my extra time to have lunch or coffee with friends...
and Most days, can't wait to read the Word and spend time with the Lord...

But lately....

Its getting harder and harder to leave my home and my husband, and go to work...
I hate that I can't have dinner ready for Ray because I don't get home until 7:30...
Or that it takes me weeks sometimes to just finish the laundry...
Or that I spend so much time recuperating from the long 12 hour shifts, that I can't get as much done as I would like on my days off.

And now...

I have been having fairly severe migraines the past few much so that I can't work, can't take care of the house, and can barely function. I know that during pregnancy there are surges of hormones that can cause headaches, but this is unbearable. My sweet Ray has been so helpful...holding me, getting me whatever I need whenever I need it, cold washcloths, heating pads, water, tylenol, blankets, head and neck name it, he has done it...and done it more times than I can count without complaining. We have both been frustrated with these migraines....what should we do...we have prayed and prayed and they just seem to be getting worse.

Alot of my headaches would start at the base of my neck and then progress to one of my temples....and then continue into a migraine. So, we decided I should see a chiropractor. My neck has felt much better and I can feel the muscles and bones that are so bound up loosening. But, I was still having the headaches.

My mom mentioned checking labels for MSG, etc. So we started reading labels and were appalled that most of what we were cooking had MSG, preservatives, or hormones in it. SO.... we threw out all the "not so good for us food" and replaced it with a cart full of organic, no preservative, no MSG, and no hormone food from Trader Joe's. The past 4 days have been headache-free! Thank you Lord! I am not sure that this is the cause, but I am sure that it will help...and it will definitely be more healthy for the baby and I.

I had a Dr.'s appointment this morning... I did mention the migraines to my Dr. She prescribed me something that is safe for pregnancy that will hopefully help my headaches. I got the prescription filled but I am hoping to not have to use it.

All, this to say, I think that my priorities are shifting. Though I love so many things, I am realizing that soon my sweet baby will be the focus...and I want it that way. It has always been hard for me to have conflicting priorities... But I know that I need to continue to work to help us financially. It all comes down to the lesson that I seem to have to learn over and over again...TRUST THE LORD.

I know that the Lord is good and that He will be faithful to provide for Ray and I. He has blessed us in our marriage and now with a baby...I know that He will not leave us now. So, we continue to walk one day at a time, trusting in the Lord.

This is the Scripture that the Lord has given me for 2010...
O Israel, come back! Return to your God! You're down but you're not out.
Prepare your confession
and come back to God.
Pray to him, "Take away our sin,
accept our confession.
Receive as restitution
our repentant prayers.
Assyria won't save us;
horses won't get us where we want to go.
We'll never again say 'our god'
to something we've made or made up.
You're our last hope. Is it not true
that in you the orphan finds mercy?"

"I will heal their waywardness.
I will love them lavishly. My anger is played out.
I will make a fresh start with Israel.
He'll burst into bloom like a crocus in the spring.
He'll put down deep oak tree roots,
he'll become a forest of oaks!
He'll become splendid—like a giant sequoia,
his fragrance like a grove of cedars!
Those who live near him will be blessed by him,
be blessed and prosper like golden grain.
Everyone will be talking about them,
spreading their fame as the vintage children of God.
Ephraim is finished with gods that are no-gods.
From now on I'm the one who answers and satisfies him.
I am like a luxuriant fruit tree.
Everything you need is to be found in me."

If you want to live well,
make sure you understand all of this.
If you know what's good for you,
you'll learn this inside and out.
God's paths get you where you want to go.
Right-living people walk them easily;
wrong-living people are always tripping and stumbling.

my baby belly on christmas eve :)


Mimi said...

oh how cute your baby bump is:)

abbey said...

Oh Ash I'm so glad you shared this! I'll be sure to be praying for you and pray that the migraines disappear completely! Your trusting attitude is provoking to me...I know it pleases the Lord. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you or just shoot me a text when you have a headache so I can be praying for you! Love you girly and can't wait to meet lil raybo jr. :D You look adorable btw!

Ash said...

thanks ab :) i can't wait to meet your little man! whoohoo :)